Would I Ever Go Back to Regular Work?

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How I Got Here

I left my job in February 2018. It was something I had built up towards for about a year, but in the end a number of factors meant that I had to rush my way out the door. It meant that although I was ready in my mind, my finances weren’t quite as comfy as I would have hoped for.

I was leaving a solid, steady job managing a sub-team within an SEO team at Debenhams to do all of the things I mention on this site – on a bigger scale and with more time.

It turns out that the decision was the correct one: I immediately felt the benefit of the change. While the first month away was spent preparing for a move out of London, the following one gave me time to figure out the best processes to manage my time, now I would be working from home with a 1-year-old.

We’re three years down the line now and although things are good, there have been some heavy hits along the way. Thankfully I’m now comfortably in a position where none of them have forced me to consider going back to regular work, but the question crops up frequently when I tell people what exactly it is that I do.

I’ve never been an anti-9-to-5 person, but after having three years away from it, I know for certain that – for me – I just couldn’t go back to working for someone else in an office. It just wouldn’t make sense. In fact, it goes against everything I’ve been working towards since I left school.

The Freedom

This comes first. It’s hard to put into words what freedom does for your wellbeing. While I can’t say I was ever unhappy or felt trapped by any job I’d been in before, I had to be there 5 times a week from 9am until 5pm. That’s a lot of commitment and, especially as a parent now, it’s not something I’m willing to give to anyone again.

The thought of commuting again terrifies me and, even though it’s most likely I’d end up with a job that could be done remotely, I don’t believe for a minute that I’d experience the level of freedom I do right now.

With the varied array of things I do now (now lockdown’s over) I keep finding myself in different cities at least once a week. Whether it’s for fun or a work-related thing, I just wouldn’t be able to do most of it anymore. I don’t want to live like that. I love having control over my own time and (especially while our kids aren’t school age yet) being able to use weekdays to actually do things with them.

Freedom is ultimately what I’m trying to earn money for in the first place, so I need to remember that I’ve already got most of the way there.

The Opportunities

As I say, since I finished school I’ve been looking into different ways to make money online. If I wanted to, I could find a new opportunity to squeeze some extra income in every day. If I had to work a regular job, the FOMO would be crazy. Today I feel like I’m missing out on opportunities because I haven’t gone through my domain lists and I haven’t done any keyword research for a new website. Imagine what it would be like if I wasn’t actually able to.

I would burst if my time was any more restricted than it is now, because I just know what’s out there and it would be painful knowing I can’t participate. I’ve got to the point where I can make a new content site in a day and a simple ecommerce site in a week. It’s fun being able to play around with them and see what I make from scratch. My frustrations would just build up, if I didn’t have a way to explore them.

I would still have commitments if I started a job. There are so many projects that I can’t drop and I probably wouldn’t be able to give my all to thanks to the situation. There just wouldn’t be time for extras, and I’ve already mentioned time and time again how hard it is for me to stop with new things.

The Ceiling

The more I write, the more clear it is that I literally cannot go to any alternative way of working. It’s just not workable. Another example of this is with the ceiling. In a job, I would always have someone above me (and someone above them) marking out my position and ability to reach another level. As someone that never wanted a career to begin with, it’s impossible for me to play along in the career game. I would never win.

Time and time again with what I do, I’ve uncovered opportunities to smash through ceilings. Time and experience is teaching me that there are constantly new ways to exploit loopholes and cash in on the rewards at the other side. It’s just a case of having the time and freedom to do so.

If I were to get a job, all I’d be thinking about is the day that I don’t and the things I’d do on the other side. There’s no ceiling on this side and I’m so thankful that I can go on how I do without pressures lingering above me.  

Owning My Workspace

I worked with some great people and I still talk to a lot of them today. However, having to work around people all day is draining. The social aspect of work is tiring for someone else me, and I kept finding myself having to escape people to just be at peace.

I don’t like looking back at how much I used to inconvenience myself and use up time to just get away from having to talk to people. I don’t want to have to go back to putting on a front when I’ve gone so long being able to avoid it. But nowadays, I can work in my home office and still communicate with clients and VAs on my own terms, using a digital marketing agency is also an excellent way to build your business from home.

My second to last month at Debenhams required me to switch roles temporarily, in my manager’s attempt to get me spotted as a candidate for promotion. It was the final straw that reminded me that I hate the idea of having to impress people. Now I’ve just done my own thing, basically in isolation in my home office, has meant that I’ve been able to do things for me and not worry about how others perceive it. It’s a world away from where I once was – and where I will be in the future.